Sunday, October 31, 2004

Eyes Wide Shut

There's something completely odd about attending a wedding on Halloween weekend, particularly when the bride and groom are odd. I could fill out an endless post with some of the strange things they came up with, and maybe with more sleep, at some point I will. A quick taste: bride wore a black dress, the placecards were tombstones, it was a costume party, the cake was dark chocolate frosted, the bridesmaids dresses had bat wings, etc.

But first, I have to get this tale off my chest, and as far as I know, it's 100% true. Allow me to explain.

I was dressed up in a mascot uniform. Now, when I'm at weddings, a couple of slow songs with the wife, the token House of Pain jumping around...that's about it. Most of the rest of the time, I'm off the floor and getting my drink on.

But when you're dressed up as a mascot, it's a license to party. There's no shame or self-conciousness. So I was dancing...a lot.

At one point I found myself dancing amongst a group, when another guest started dancing near me. Now, I can't be 100% sure of what she said, because the music was loud, and wearing a mascot head, well, it makes it hard to hear. But I'm pretty damn sure she was looking at me when she said:

"Wearing that thing makes it so easy for me to hit on you. I could suck your's like you're an inanimate object."

Now, Clubber's an alright guy...not a geek, but not usally the life of the party. So, having a woman dressed up in a cheerleader's outfit (albeit one where the team name was "Satan" instead of a traditional team) saying this to Clubber on the dancefloor...with his wife less than 50 yards a way...well, Clubber was certainly thrown for a loop.

The kicker to this story: this guest was actually a former member of a fairly well-known 90's alternative band. There's actually a Yahoo! newsgroup dedicated to her. So, I was actually hit on by a semi-celebrity.

Two words: Mind fuck.

Of course, the other mildly ironic part of this story is that the celebrity's brother had actually hit on my wife an hour earlier. Too much scotch for him I guess.

What a wacky wedding. I'll never be it another one like it, I can tell you that.


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