Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Well, I may have found my excuse for missing Thanksgiving this year...

...like Jim Anchower once said in the Onion, goin' to REO is like goin' to church.

Sail the Caribbean with the, uh, best in classic rock

I wonder if Dennis DeYoung and Steve Perry are going to hook up with a rival ship for the Virgin Islands?

$250,000 Pyramid

My slicing golf swing.

My walk because of my stiff neck.

Finding out that the nurse in the hospital ward where your mother is went to high school with you, and you had no clue who she was, despite her remembering you.


Um, "Things that are awkward"

Correct!

Thursday, June 24, 2004

As we get closer to "returning" Iraq over........

Something you might not have thought of.......

Yet ANOTHER Reason to hate the GERMANS!!!

With all apologies to my boy Clubber, this story just proves it yet again, those damn Germans need to go!!

British women are Europe's least hairy

"British women are the least hairy in Europe.

But their German counterparts are the hairiest, according to a survey by razor manufacturer Wilkinson.

A Europe-wide study from the company looked at the hair-removal habits of 1,000 women.

The survey found British girls are the ones who undertake the most hair removal, with more than 93% saying they use razors before wearing skirts and shorts for the summer.

Germans fell way behind with just 40% saying they regularly shaved. This however shows an improvement of seven per cent from studies carried out two years ago.

Spanish women ranked just behind the British with 82% preferring the smooth to the natural look. French and Italian ladies lay in the middle - but with more shaving than not.
"


I mean, it's re-stating an obvious fact. I mean, who do YOU think takes better care of their, uh, personal landscaping.....Elizabeth Hurley or Katarina Witt? I mean, c'mon!!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Words to live by

Get out of here, Curtis . . . I don't hear you unless you knock.


God bless Spicoli.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Reflections on Mexico City

1) There are a whole lot more 7-11's then I remember. They've invaded. I never did find out what Slurpee is in Spanish.

2) Hell is eating in a restuarant with three people who's primary language is Spanish, with the only English in the restaurant coming over the sound system, where you have to listen to 45 straight minutes of The Cure. Now that's a way to kill an appetite.

3) When I first went there nearly five years ago, every building near the airport was painted with advertisements for Bardahl. That's been replaced by Holanda. Car care to ice cream...it's a more pleasant town already.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

8 whole days...

...man I suck. But I'll get caught up soon.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

It's that time of the year, people!

Thanks to our good friends at The Onion, you can now feel safe about this time of the year.......



Just make sure you're not in your mobile-home if this happens!

(Hey, it's a slow news day....it was either this, or discussing the fact that 98% of the TV roles that he has starred in have all used the same name......Tony.)

Discuss amongst yourselves. I need a beer.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Ronald Reagan died today

The bad thing is I thought he had died 8 years ago.

Friday, June 04, 2004

"Don't Call it a Comeback!"

Uch, I have returned! Sorry for the delay, but the Gusto was busy taking care of some bid-ness. We're coming up on a very special anniversary for someone that is near and dear to both myself, Clubber, and Uch.

"LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Ten years after the double murder for which he was acquitted but left a virtual pariah, O.J. Simpson says in a television interview that he is angry at his slain ex-wife and hopes to star in a new TV reality show."

CNN is where I found this story, and all I gots to say is, "OY VEY!!!"

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Where's Gusto

I ate gyros for lunch today and haven't crapped yet. For 20 years I hadn't eaten gyros because of the heartburn it gave me. But no heartburn today. Man, all those wasted years.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

And quit saying it about me too

Ronaldo wants you to quit calling him fat

Why do I envision the Ghostbustermobile?

I don't even know where to begin with this. I mean, are guys going to answer the door with a full-fledged stiffy?