Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Freakin Mother Nature

Trying to get to work today...surprised I didn't see this sign:

The freakin Des Plaines River flood has made travel difficult...roads shut down or reduced to one lane. One of these days we'll get some sun to evaporate it.

It hasn't been that bad for me, I suppose...a lot of people who live near the river have had it far worse than me. I just had some road rage today, I guess.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Oh, yeah

If anyone can tell me how to get Smokey Robinson's Crusin' out of my head, that would be great. I've listened to it ten times tonight in hopes of saturating it out, but even that hasn't worked.


One post that's worth a darn. Man I'm tired. Softball team won, soccer team lost, and I've been up way too long today.

Friday, May 21, 2004

Yet ANOTHER great TV show that will be ruined with a shitty movie....

When will the maddness end? First it was Charlie's Angels (and the even worse sequel), and then it was Starsky and Hutch, which wasn't all it's cracked up to be, and now the next semi-shitty 70's TV show to get the movie makeover????.........The frickin Dukes of Hazzard!!

What's next, a "Love Boat" movie with Larry David as the Captain? How about "Fantasy Island" with Vern Troyer as Tattoo?

Oh well, I guess there is ONE brightspot to this whole thing........

Guess who is playing Daisy?

Oh boy!! At least we'll see her in those nice shorts....Where is our buddy UCH to put an end to all this needless greenlighting???

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Rain Delay Theater

As I sit here at Estadio Hiram Bithorn, waiting out a rain delay in the contraction series between the Brew-Crew and Les Expos, I wonder, why does John Fogerty wonder if I've ever seen the rain? Of course I've seen the rain. So has Oran "Juice" Jones. So have a lot of people. What a dumb question.

I'm pissed. 3 more outs and this would've been official. Instead, it's websurfing and wishing I had either my wife or the last forty pages of my book. This sucks.

Trip's been fun though. No sunburn yet, got some good pool time, and Uch still owes me some drinks.

Another Job I'd love to have!

I wonder if you get a good health plan with this job....... pink must have had to turn down a ton of people....I wonder what the qualifications are???

"I need my nipples squeezed before every show. It gets me pumped to go onstage. My assistant Jackie has it down to a fine art."
--Pink in Us, telling more than we needed to know about warming up her wazoos. Maybe a little nip before the show never hurt anything, but this strikes us as getting the party started wrong

Sunday, May 16, 2004


Clubber's softball team lost today. Clubber lined out twice to the pitcher. Clubber's prediction of pain was obviously misdirected. Clubber upset.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Reunited and it feels so good

MC Gusto and I had lunch together for the first time in ages. It was so good to get back see each other, and we brought some talent to our booth.

Yeah, now figure out which one of us is which...

Thursday, May 13, 2004

The bad part of the internet

Checking the weather at multiple sources and finding next week's working vacation in territorial paradise is going to be awash with rain, well, that's for sucks.

Hey Uch, how many drinks did you say were on you?

You all SUCK......Well, maybe we do, too.

No one visits this site. Ever. Why not? Clubber Lang has some great thoughts, and I'm pretty witty as well!

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I Live In A Town of Morons

The Chicago Sun-Times asked readers to vote on the most painful memory in Chicago sports history. That nearly 29% of the voting public picked one of two LCS failures by the Scrubs over MJ's abrupt retirement or the town's redheaded stepchild actually throwing a World Series tells me I live in a town of sheep, and like Gordon Gecko once said, "sheep get slaughtered."

Cold Beverages, Puck, and Hoo-Hoos

What a day...first I find out that Hooters Airlines is now flying relatively close to Chicago...there's now a second reason to travel to Gary. I'm going to have to take up golf for those trips to Myrtle Beach.

Then, down the road, the Tampa Bay Lightning are offering free unlimited beer if you sign up for season tickets.

Even high falutin people like Uch would have to enjoy these sins of the common man.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

All the news that's fit to waste bandwith

When an article about the son of the the least important Beatle joining a band whose current importance is around the level of the Baha Men makes the front news page of Yahoo, well, I'm calling it a slow news day.

And I thought I was dumb for dressing up like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"....

Talk about taking your favorite movie a BIT too far?

A 23-year-old man in Hartland, Maine, was hospitalized in March after apparently attempting to commit suicide by crucifying himself. According to an account in the Portland Press Herald, he built a wooden cross, placed it on the floor, and nailed one hand to it. According to the officer, "When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911," although the officer said he wasn't sure if the call was for an ambulance or for someone to come help him nail the other hand. [Portland Press-Herald, 3-16-04]

I mean, I'd like to re-enact some scenes from movies.....("Wild Things" comes to mind immediately) but couldn't this jabrone find a better one????

What do these two STUDS look like?

Ladies, I am sure you have been wondering, so brace yourselves!

Here's me, MC Gusto.....

And here's my boy, ClubberLang....

I know, ladies, it's hard to believe we are single!

Monday, May 10, 2004

Sometimes, when I'm down...

...I pull myself together by asking myself . . . what would he do?

So, you may be wondering what the name means?!?!?

Okay - back in the dizzay, my man the DJ (Clubber Lang) and I knew this guy who loved to bring unsuspecting young women down to the basement of his parents house and have his way with them. He'd lure them down there, whether it was by talk, alcohol, date-rape drugs, etc....and then proceed to soil them, time after time, on this one couch. Now, when all the boys came over, none of us would want to sit on this couch, because we all knew what had been done on it....hence it was dubbed the COUCH OF SIN!!

Here's that guy -

I guess we have to put one socio-political thought on here

When I think of Norway, I think of the old quote that cross-country skiing isn't a sport, it's how a Norwegian gets to the 7-11. But after reading this gem today, I'm not so sure about those wacky Nords.

OK, end of serious discussion. Time for fun.

I'm the DJ, he's the rapper

If Uch can do it, why can't we?